Everyone has a story about their dad telling a really terrible joke that he thought was hilarious. It is almost as if when men become dads, there is a genetic mutation that occurs that drastically alters their sense of humor from "funny" to "cringe-worthy". Here is a run-down of some of our "favorites":
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What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing - they fast!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
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Did you get a hair cut? No - I got all of them cut!
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Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
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A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
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Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it!
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FRIEND/ACQUAINTENCE/CO-WORKER: Happy Birthday! How do you feel to be [INSERT AGE] years old? DAD: Well...the same way I have always felt...WITH MY HANDS!*
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
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Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it!
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* Footnote - No. 7 was my own dad's go-to on his birthday. I distinctly remember him telling this joke when my buddy Matt asked him this question on his birthday 30 years ago. It was one of the most cringeworthy events of my childhood. Matt still brings it up when we see each other.
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Let us know what some of your worst dad jokes were in the comments!
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